Changes in the last year have made OkCupid a bit more like Tinder, focusing more on swiping and eliminating the ability to message a user without matching with them first. You can still send a message -- it just won't show up in the recipient's inbox unless you match. Because who doesn't enjoy sending a thoughtful message to someone who might never see it? However, OkCupid has pointed out that these changes did help lower the number of offensive messages users received, which might be a worthwhile trade-off.
Profiles are concise and settings are also pared down, like with Tinder, but swiping up allows you to scroll through additional photos instead of super-liking someone. This means that just because someone twitched their thumb up on your photo, you won’t have to see their profile first every time you open the app, even though you swipe left on their profile every time.
Coffee Meets Bagel limits the number of profiles you can view at one time, forcing you to consider the profiles you do see more carefully. It’s also marketed as a ladies choice app, which means women must initiate contact with a match first. Setting up your profile is fast and only requires a few quick facts about yourself and your appearance. After you write six phrases about yourself and three phrases about what you like in a date, you can start using Coffee Meets Bagel. There is no desktop version of this dating service, though, so you have to have a smartphone, Facebook account and cell phone number to use it. A Facebook account is required because, according to the website, matches are more successful when two people have mutual friends. The app accesses your list of friends to do this but won’t post anything to your page, so there’s no need to worry. This dating app uses “beans” as currency. You can earn beans by logging in often, by purchasing them or by completing certain tasks like using the app’s Photo Lab. You then use beans to unlock special features in the app and to “like” other user profiles. The service gives male users 21 curated matches every day that they can either like or pass on. The women, in turn, get to see which men have liked them and decide whether to like them back. If they do, the matched pair can then chat for free. In our tests, the maximum number of profiles we could like before running out of beans was five a day, which we would think keeps most people from being flippant about their matches. In our tests, our accounts got an average of three matches, which was rather low compared to other services we tried. The messaging feature also has a seven-day time limit for conversation between two people, which kind of forces you to decide whether you want to take action on that potential love connection.
OkCupid seems to sit right in the middle of all the dating apps we’ve mentioned, So, if you don’t want to put a ring on it, but you’re also not into incessant swiping, this is a good match. There’s also a game-changing feeling of inclusivity, because the app offers 12 gender identities and 20 sexual orientations, giving you the freedom to just be you.
Dating is hard work, so we did some of the legwork for you by taking a deep dive into seven of the most popular apps. Check out our brief thoughts on each below, and then click through to read our in-depth reviews. Everyone's needs and wants are different, so not every app will be a great fit for you, but if we can help play a part in uniting you with your forever person or your Friday-night fling, we're here to help.
Created by and for queer women, HER is focused on helping people build both strong communities and personal relationships. The app takes things way beyond swiping and liking by offering events and sponsored meetups around the U.S., app-based discussion groups, and news forums. That means you can get to know potential partners in both digital and real-life group settings, as well as one-on-one using the app’s chat feature.
Zoosk claims to be the number one dating app on smart phones, and for a good reason. The app has easy browsing and communication tools that help you connect with local users. "Zoosk is an up and comer," Masini says. "It's a hip, visually oriented site, which tends to attract daters in their twenties and thirties." Organized like most social media sites, Zoosk is easy to navigate and explore. And the more you explore, the better your dating experience becomes. Zoosk's SmartPick behavioral matchmaking engine learns about your dating preferences as you use it.
Ochs (1993) argues that “referential indexes are far fewer than non-referential indexes of social meaning, including gender” (p. 146). This means that “the relationship between language and gender is almost always indirect, mediated by something else” (Cameron & Kulick, 2003, p. 57). For example, lifestyle indicators (work, leisure activities, and so on) are used as ways of generating inferences about gender, class, and other aspects of selfhood through assumptions made about the preferences expressed. This shows how “social meaning may be reconstituted through other social meanings” (Ochs, 1993, p. 152) and that consequently, people can “mobilize the [gendered] inferences” involved in referencing various lifestyle and consumer choices (Kitzinger, 2006, p. 176).
Statistically speaking, there’s plenty of evidence that dating apps work—especially for those among us whose endgame is meeting a long-term partner. There are stats that say marriages among people who met on an app are less likely to end after the first year, and despite a big cultural annoyance about the process, the vast majority of Americans think that, ultimately, apps are a good way to meet people. Even anecdotally, a lot of the people I spoke to for this piece—all of whom self-identified as dating app haters—nevertheless met their long-term partner on an app.
Tinder also has a rival in China that it needs to keep an eye on. Tantan, a Chinese Tinder clone that has the added bonus of censoring phrases like “hook up buddy” in the chat, sits in fourth place on iOS. Though it is currently focused on the Chinese market, where Tinder can’t be used without a VPN due to its Facebook ties, Tantan could become a threat if it moved into the global market.
Why? I personally like Coffee Meets Bagel because it’s not an endless cycle of swiping through uninterested prospects. It’s very casual [in tone], but catered more to individuals looking for actual dates/relationships rather than just a hookup. In comparison to the other apps/sites, I think there is a better quality of men on CMB. Only issue I have: Their messaging app is extremely subpar, doesn’t load correctly and messages don’t send.