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One of the most nerve wracking parts of online dating (aside from literally the entire experience) is selecting which photos you'll use on your profile. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so it's a pretty important part of making a good first impression. Do you go with something that shows your adventurous side? Should you include a snapshot of your dog? Which photo will show the world you're a fun, interesting person?
Zoosk recommends showing your natural smile, citing a 2015 study that found people are drawn to a genuine show of pearly whites. That same study found people prefer a photo if the subject is tilting their head slightly, and if you're a woman seeking a man, make sure to incorporate the color red somewhere in your photo. If you really can't decide which photo to choose, don't be afraid to ask for a little outside help. A 2017 study found people tend to pick out less favorable photos of themselves when compared to letting others choose, so go ahead and ask your friends to help you!
As you'd expect from any online dating option with that kind of lofty goal, Elite Singles gives you more than just a Facebook photo to base your opinion on. The site collects information about users' professions and appearances, so if you sign up, you get a chance to be as careful and thoughtful with your love life as you are when you're on the job.
As you might have guessed from the name, coffee beans are the currency of Coffee Meets Bagel, and you earn them through daily logins and other activities. The site is very reward-driven, giving you a limited number of matches each day, based first on the mutual friends you share on Facebook, with the number of matches increasing each consecutive day you log on. With the extra beans you accumulate, you can show interest in another group of potential matches who aren't necessarily your handpicked matches of the day, but with whom you may share common interests. The concept of matching people based on mutual friends isn't new, but because of how the dating platform is designed, it simply works well — as in, without being creepy or overly forward.
Unlike many apps and websites nowadays, POF doesn’t use your social media account to sign you up and fill out the questions on your profile. Rather, you sign up and answer a variety of questions that they ask of you, some of which are quite unique, such as your ambition rating, the type of car you have, are your parents still married, what type of relationship you’re looking for, your personality in one word and so on.
As Judith Butler (1990) argues, “gender is not always constituted coherently and consistently in different historical contexts, and because gender intersects with racial, class, ethnic, sexual and regional modalities of discursively constituted identities” (p. 4), there is an array of gendered subjectivities articulated through the interplay of references made in texts like online dating profiles. These references can provide interesting clues to the “changing meanings constructed around the categories … ‘masculinity/femininity’ in this specific historical and social context” (Jagger, 1998, p. 798).
After you fill out your profile, Zoosk uses a matchmaking algorithm to match you with others. There is no 30-minute questionnaire for Zoosk; rather, Zoosk figures out who you are based on your actions, not your answers. It uses a Dating Insights Feature that distinguishes it from other sites. This is where the science begins to come in, and science was my one bad subject in school, so I apologize I can’t go into the charts and graphs of all this. But basically it uses who you search for, who you interact with, what you are filtering in your searches, what kind of users are looking at your profile and showing interest in you and who you like in the carousel, and then Zoosk puts that information together and recommends matches for you to engage with.
While one norm of femininity is that women tend to be more concerned than men with advertising their bodies (and that men are receptive to this), “idealizations of youth, beauty, slenderness and fitness are now promoted as universal consumer images of desirability” (Jagger, 1998, p. 799). Not just a slim body but a “healthy” one (fit, active, bolstered by good diet) is the ideal for everyone, men included (Featherstone, 1982). The concern for body image has been universalized such that “now we both [men and women] have magazines dedicated to what’s wrong with our bodies” (Vitzthum, 2007, p. 105). There could be a connection here to the number of references to activities such as hiking, camping, bike riding, and so on, which are not necessarily considered sports but which do signal characteristics of an active body and lifestyle.
The downside of that the unlimited search and message option is while you can message hundreds of matches, so can everyone else. So if you’re a guy like me and are attracted to a girl, you may be 1-of-100 men in the last hour sending her a message. Better come up with something creative besides “Hi, how are you?” Just remember, in order to have a back-and-forth conversation, both you and your partner have to have a paid membership.
Like Raya, joining The League can take a bit of effort. You need to set up a profile and allow the app to access your Facebook and LinkedIn accounts. The League uses these networks to verify your information and to make sure colleagues do not see your account. After you complete your application, The League will verify your eligibility, and you will either be accepted on the spot (rare), rejected (common), or waitlisted. If waitlisted, it can take several hours to several months to become a full-fledged member.
You’ve got 24 hours, and you get the first word – no pressure, right? Bumble breaks down the unspoken rule of dating where we wait to be approached – ball’s officially in your court here. Try asking everyone the same three questions if you want to see how they all measure up, treating it like a job interview or go for a tried and tested ‘drinks Thursday?’ if you’re feeling bold.