If dating apps are supposed to take the headache out of trying to meet someone, it's not a good sign that so many daters consider them a necessary evil at best and just plain evil at worst. Iliza Shlesinger, in her new Netflix special, Elder Millennial, has a bit about online dating. “I don’t like to tell people how we met,” she says of her fiancé. "It’s not bad, it’s not embarrassing, it’s just not cool: We met on a dating app, like all of you. We met on a dating app and it’s less a product of my creativity and more a product of my generation. I’m a millennial and that’s how we meet each other.” (The special is funny and you should watch it.)
Data security and privacy should concern all users of dating apps, she said. Some of these companies just aren't as sophisticated as larger social media firms, "so they can fail to protect user data adequately." The other risk is that hackers know there is personal and sensitive information on these sites, which makes can make dating apps attractive targets.
One of the most nerve wracking parts of online dating (aside from literally the entire experience) is selecting which photos you'll use on your profile. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so it's a pretty important part of making a good first impression. Do you go with something that shows your adventurous side? Should you include a snapshot of your dog? Which photo will show the world you're a fun, interesting person?
Statistically speaking, there’s plenty of evidence that dating apps work—especially for those among us whose endgame is meeting a long-term partner. There are stats that say marriages among people who met on an app are less likely to end after the first year, and despite a big cultural annoyance about the process, the vast majority of Americans think that, ultimately, apps are a good way to meet people. Even anecdotally, a lot of the people I spoke to for this piece—all of whom self-identified as dating app haters—nevertheless met their long-term partner on an app.
For years, Match has been an industry leader in online dating, and it's no secret why. The company offers the right balance of features and members to keep making love connections happen. Although it's easy to assume Match is only for serious daters, it's actually an online dating site for anyone looking for anything from marriage to one-night stands. The site has a continually evolving matching algorithm that helps you find those you are interested in, even if you’re a little unsure of who exactly that is.
Online dating site members may try to balance an accurate representation with maintaining their image in a desirable way. One study found that nine out of ten participants had lied on at least one attribute, though lies were often slight; weight was the most lied about attribute, and age was the least lied about. Furthermore, knowing a large amount of superficial information about a potential partner's interests may lead to a false sense of security when meeting up with a new person. Gross misrepresentation may be less likely on matrimonials sites than on casual dating sites. Some dating services have been created specifically for those living with HIV and other STIs in an effort to eliminate the need to lie about one's health in order to find a partner.
Why it's awesome: On OkCupid, users can offer a ton of information about themselves through the site's Match Questions. Examples include: "Would you date someone who keeps a gun in the house?" or "Should the government require children be vaccinated for preventable diseases?" The answers to these questions help OkCupid determine which members might be a good match for one another. Of note: Per OkCupid's own stats, liberal women in particular have luck on the site. And in 2017, the site offered users the chance to answer 50 "current events" questions that illuminate a user's politics."OkCupid has been a favorite of mine for years," Spira says. "I always liked OkCupid because they have a great critical mass and they have the thought-provoking questions that really allow you to think about how you feel about some of these issues, whether it’s politics or gun control, and how do you feel about your date’s answers. People spend a lot of time on site just perusing the questions that other people answer, and I like that."
MocoSpace has been around since before app stores existed. Since 2005, it has been a leading site for meeting new people. They also have Android and iOS apps that are absolutely free. If you’re afraid they’ll try to sell you to a $30/month membership fee, don’t worry. It doesn’t exist. They also have more features than many other dating apps — with chat, instant messaging, and even some games in addition to highly customizable profile pages. The app experience is different from the competition, and users who return for several sessions are rewarded with a community that keeps them coming back for years.